I didn't have much time earlier when I posted about the ultrasound.
So for weeks now I've been worried that I haven't been feeling as excited about this pregnancy as I did with Teddy. Since I know what's normal and what's to be expected and am in general less anxious and am way busier, I'm just not thinking about it very often. I've made some lists about what we need to buy and even browsed for some neat things to try out via Amazon. Other than that it's waiting until/if we find out the gender. (I am still not sure if I want to find out this time). And of course we need to figure out living arrangements. But really, all that can and is going to wait for awhile. Even if we would move next week we wouldn't set up a bunch of baby stuff right away.
Doug had to stay home with Teddy today because mom couldn't watch him and it would be a hassle to have to drive him anywhere else. Another example, totally fine with Doug missing the first two appointments (and both had ultrasounds). Last night he was asking if I would get to take home a pic this time, if it would be a baby this time or just a yolk sac. I said 'Yeah, don't you remember from Teddy when we went back at 8 weeks?' Well, apparently he didn't. And of course last time it was a total surprise how it would unfold, what it would look like, when it develops etc. And then even Doug said "It's not as exciting this time" just because we were talking about things so matter of factly. It made me sad.
Then during the ultrasound today it was actually really awesome to see the baby and confirm it's growing and everything's going great. Seeing the heartbeat and it was waving it's arm a little. I shed a few tears and told the tech that it really made me feel better because the big things are still big things. It is just as exciting. And you feel that love that you didn't know you could feel all over again. I wasn't sure how I could love another one as much as Teddy it's definitely getting sorted out.
Fingers crossed that at the next appointment they'll be able to pick up the heartbeat on the doppler. That's early supposedly (found Teddy at 8 weeks so I had no clue that's normal until recently) but I know that's another big thing and is the best sound ever!
Thursday, October 25, 2012
Wednesday, October 24, 2012
EDD: June 5th
I had my dating ultrasound today and the estimated due date is June 5th! I'm so shocked at that date. I'm so confused as to what I thought was ovulation on August 21st. And then this date puts conception a few days before I was puking from my kidney infection but there was no intercourse for a week beforehand. And then it means I found out 10 days after conception and not on an early test. Just means I have to give greater glory to God because it makes no sense to me at all.
I had to take a 1 hour glucose test today because of my history with gestational diabetes. Assuming those results are fine I won't have to do it again until 25 weeks.
Oh, and the repeat c-section will be scheduled for about a week early but I won't have a date for that until I'm in my third trimester. I totally forgot to ask for the beats per minute but they said it was good. I hadn't gained anything from last time and my blood pressure was great: 102/70. Let's keep that up!
I go back in 4 weeks. I got a picture that I'll try to upload later.
Tuesday, October 23, 2012
Symptoms updated
So I've been having some nausea off and on for about a week or so now. It's nothing consistent. It ranges as to the time it hits and food aversions aren't steady either. The other day I made 5 pounds of chicken thighs at once. I made chicken spaghetti the first day and figured that I could use the rest over the weekend because dinner is always so hectic for us with church. Yeah, Saturday I put one on the plate and by the time it was done in the microwave I couldn't even look at it. Doug came home so I had him eat it...in the kitchen, out of sight. I couldn't even go back in there to get a drink. The next day just knowing it was sitting in the fridge grossed me out. But other times I was fine thinking about it. It's making cooking and shopping interesting. Last time I remember things being more consistent. For a few weeks I hated pretty much everything but fruits and yogurt, especially meat. Basically I'm trying to eat when I've got an appetite and make it healthy. Getting hungry doesn't help the nausea I've noticed and unfortunately it feels like the hunger comes out of nowhere. I keep trying to eat high protein things and complex carbs but it's not helping as much as I'd like. The bigger issue is that basically I need to eat something every hour or two. I'm used to 3 smallish meals and then I do have a small snack with Teddy twice a day. Well, apparently my snacks aren't big enough. And I need to eat 5-6 times a day of equal size (can't eat much at "meal" times either). Now that I think about it I think I remember reading about that last time. It's just I'm also struggling with trying to keep things healthy with low fat options and not rely on prepared foods that have so much sodium in them. But now it feels like so much of what I used to like is gross to me.
Again, I'm not sure this has been consistent enough that it would have convinced me to pee on a stick though!
I have a nice little bloat baby right now. By 3 pm my belly balloons up and I look like I did when 16 weeks with Teddy. I probably would have just chalked that up to being fat though.
Again, I'm not sure this has been consistent enough that it would have convinced me to pee on a stick though!
I have a nice little bloat baby right now. By 3 pm my belly balloons up and I look like I did when 16 weeks with Teddy. I probably would have just chalked that up to being fat though.
Thursday, October 18, 2012
Gear review
I'm pretty sure I didn't do this before. But I was thinking about all the things that I need for this baby and the fact that it probably surprises people that I need more stuff since I already had one. So let me explain what I've tried and what I'd like to try.
Pack n Play: Teddy hated the bassinet attachment. Perhaps it was because it's an older model. Then he hated being isolated in it. It was a huge dumping ground until recently when we turned it on the side and draped a blanket over it and he uses it as a fort. I do plan to replace that with a small tent for him and try it again for baby #2. Especially if we are in this house still, it can stay upstairs and baby can lay in it while I cook. Other option would be a regular bassinet because it's smaller and has wheels.
Swing: DS loved his and slept in it for months. He'd start the night in it and eventually come in our bed. The downside is that ours didn't plug in and we went through batteries a lot. And there were only two different song options which got old fast. I sold it to Once Upon a Child after Teddy outgrew it because we didn't have space for it in the condo and I got it for free (hand me down). This time I'm interested in one that will plug in and maybe a smaller one. Though it was difficult sometimes getting him in it, especially at the beginning with bending and the c-section. He was sensitive to the altitude change, so a smaller one will be even lower to the ground.
Bouncy seat: Ours also vibrated. DS loved it and after it dawned on me to take it into the bathroom I was finally able to shower without someone else watching him. It was nice once he was interested in the world more. Once he learned to sit on his own though it was unnecessary. I would not pay full price for one though, even if you plan for it to last for several children. I liked it and want another one (gave mine to a friend and I know I'm not getting it back) but it's not worth $35+. You can do without it if you can't find one used or on sale.
Moby: I discovered this when DS was 4 months old (pretty sure on that). He then lived in it for months in order to sleep. It was also nice because I could go shopping during his nap time and he'd fall asleep to me walking around, I had my hands free to eat lunch etc. I used it instead of a stroller until DS was 5 months old and I never had an infant car seat (went straight to convertible). The length of fabric can be intimidating at first but it can fit anybody. Even Doug was able to use it, though he was always concerned of putting it on. But it made for some nice bonding time for him and Teddy when traditional carriers would not fit him. I loaned it to the same friend as the bouncy seat so while at the time that $40 was the best money I ever spent, it's totally overpriced. I plan on making my own this time from 5-6 yards of stretchy fabric. There are tutorials online. Also, the book it comes with only has a few holds but there are others you can find online, I wish I had known about that earlier. I never breastfed in it and I wish I had learned. I plan to try that with #2. Another reason not to spend the $40, as they get older and bigger stretchy fabric is not the best, because you need such a tight hold. Many women then prefer woven fabrics or more structured carriers.
Ergo: I have the sport and I really like it. I got it when DS was 7 months old and used it a fair bit that first summer and still use it. There are times when he's really clingy after his nap and so I'll put him in it on my back and I can make us a snack or even do some light cooking. He's too heavy for me to really go on walks with him in it, but I can wear him in it for an all day event and he can run around when he wants to and ride in it (and even sleep in it sometimes) when he needs to.
Nursing cover: I had a cheap one from Target. It was itchy and shaped oddly, did not feel like it covered well. After a few months Teddy would not tolerate it anyway. For a while just a thin blanket worked but then nothing. I should have tried harder to nurse in public but I couldn't see what I was doing with either of those options and pretty much flashed people otherwise. I decided that was ok in the church nursery with other mothers that were nursing but at the EMU track, not so much. I would go to the car a lot. That's not going to be an option with #2.
Fisher Price space saver high chair: I really like it. Apparently it converts to a booster which I totally forgot about before I bought a booster seat though. But it takes up sooo much less space than a traditional high chair, though you do sacrifice a dining chair. The recline option isn't really needed though, but it does fit a younger baby better than a booster does. I wouldn't put a 6 month old in an actual booster. Teddy wasn't ready for a booster until a few months ago, so I think it has great life.
Stroller: I have a cheapo umbrella stroller. Well, actually as far as umbrella strollers go it was more expensive. It has a sun shade, a tray for child, a basket and a detachable storage/drink spot for parent. It's super light weight. Teddy is now getting too big for it. He can put his feet down on the wheels and stop it, drives me nuts! It doesn't manuever as well with a bigger child either. It's seen a lot of wear in the last 19 months and I definitely got $35 worth out of it!
I also have a used double stroller that I found on Craigslist. I can use it for Teddy and R, who I babysit. Even though it's old and doesn't have a lot of functions nicer and newer ones have (like snack trays) it has a big basket and manuevers well still. I took them to the indoor track the other day and made better time even though I was pushing two of them and had to stop a few times to entertain them, than I do with just Teddy in the umbrella.
If a stroller is something you're going to use a lot then think of it as a real investment. When I bought the umbrella stroller I didn't walk very much. We lived in a condo and I just didn't go outside very often. I would put him in the cart at a store or in the moby for a mall that didn't have one, which was seldom because I'm just that classy. I think almost everyone needs the lightweightness of an umbrella stroller eventually but a more heavy duty option is pretty much a must for most people's lifestyles as well.
Changing table: Ok, I know most people say it's pointless but we didn't have a low dresser. We had a free chest of drawers. Our beds and couches are all lower so I'd be bending some and Doug would be bending a lot to change diapers. Teddy is insane when we try to change him on the floor or a bed etc. And I like the storage it offers. I think I will be able to use it for years to come. And I've seen the exact same one I've got be used to hold dishes on Disney channel's Good Luck Charlie, so I can always use it for that later too, haha!
Gas drops: for the baby! Teddy was gassy and needed drops before and after eating for weeks...maybe a month or two, I can't remember. But the first night or two until we figured that out was especially rough. I don't know why they don't sell them in a bigger bottle though! But I guess liquid gold is tough to find....
What I want to try: I tried to do things as cheap as possible. There are a few things that I'd like to try this time because I think they will be worth my sanity.
Rock N Play: I have heard awesome stuff about this. It will fit in our room much better than the PNP or a co-sleeper will. I know this baby will sleep with us some, but I'd like to encourage some independent sleep too. My small goal is one nap a day and to start out the night in it. I was thisclose to buying one for Teddy but by that point was worried he'd reach the weight limit too fast to make it worth it. I should have anyway because it's gone up about $15 since then.
Ring sling: I had a cheap pouch sling that DS never fit in/worked with me. We were both too big. But a ring sling is adjustable and supposedly great for breastfeeding with free hands. I don't think I'd want to carry baby around in it for a long period of time just because the weight is not distributed as well as a moby or ergo (or other ergonomic carrier) but a lightweight newborn or for quick breast feeding at the park, sounds like a win.
Udder covers: I want to try this https://www.uddercovers.com/cart or something like it for this one. I might make my own. I like that it pops up and I can see, it is very long and is not as hot (around the shoulders/neck) as other covers. I've seen a girl use this at church and even an old ordered mennonite use it at the park- and you know she wouldn't be flashing anything. $35 seems like a lot (why is that the price for so many baby things anyway?!) but it might really be worth having that freedom and peace of mind. People might stare but at least it won't be because I have to flash them to latch my child.
Infant car seat: We went straight to a convertible with Teddy due to a long story. For the most part it was entirely fine. Turns out he didn't like sleeping in the car anyway and I could easily just wrap him up in the moby when going some place. Even though he was born in November, I just wrapped him up in a blanket and went from warm building to preheated car (oh how I miss autostart on my car!) so I didn't miss the bunting option. But I might want one for #2. I'm still on the fence about it. I wouldn't put the baby in it for everything. For example, I am fine carrying the baby from the car to the church. No one there even keeps baby in it during service. It would be better for us to have smaller bouncy seats than big clunky car seats. I don't think it's any easier to carry out baby in a car seat and a diaper bag than it is to just carry baby. That's no judgement on the girls who do that, just that I did it just fine without it so I wouldn't use it this time for that reason. But in case it falls asleep on the way to an errand it would be nice to at least have a better chance of not waking it up by getting it out of the car seat.
Travel system: I'm debating between a double stroller or a single travel system. But either way, a more heavy duty stroller for sure and one that an infant car seat attaches to if I go that route.
A better diaper bag: The boy I babysit's mother has a Skip Hop: http://www.skiphop.com/category/diaperbagsaccessories.html and I am finding it perfect, especially for a breastfeeder that wouldn't need to bring a bunch of bottles. Not that my diaper bag was good for that either. I will happily pay $35-90 for something that will be truly functional and last another child or two! I still use one for Teddy for church. For errands I usually bring it in the car but just stuff a diaper, wipes and baggie in my purse. I have friends with 3 year olds that still use them so yeah, $90 for 6 years of use (3 for this kid, 3 for another) is a steal.
Real nursing bras and more attire: I used some sleep nursing bras far too much. I saw a pic of me and Teddy that a friend took and the girls were waaaay too lose, and they were bigger then too. I bought one underwire nursing bra and it was the only one I used, by that point I used a lot of regular bras too. He was probably 8 months old. Yeah, the girls were saggy and loose in public for 8 months and I never even thought about it. That's going to change.
Oh, and for the hospital I plan on packing some clothes. I didn't care about it at the time but looking back, it was kind of embarrassing to be in the hospital gown still and I wasn't wearing a bra (didn't remotely cross my mind) but it was probably noticable to visitors. I wouldn't buy fancy gowns but I will bring actual clothes. And I will take that first shower much earlier. I was worried that it would sting the incision but it was fine.
I think that's everything....
Pack n Play: Teddy hated the bassinet attachment. Perhaps it was because it's an older model. Then he hated being isolated in it. It was a huge dumping ground until recently when we turned it on the side and draped a blanket over it and he uses it as a fort. I do plan to replace that with a small tent for him and try it again for baby #2. Especially if we are in this house still, it can stay upstairs and baby can lay in it while I cook. Other option would be a regular bassinet because it's smaller and has wheels.
Swing: DS loved his and slept in it for months. He'd start the night in it and eventually come in our bed. The downside is that ours didn't plug in and we went through batteries a lot. And there were only two different song options which got old fast. I sold it to Once Upon a Child after Teddy outgrew it because we didn't have space for it in the condo and I got it for free (hand me down). This time I'm interested in one that will plug in and maybe a smaller one. Though it was difficult sometimes getting him in it, especially at the beginning with bending and the c-section. He was sensitive to the altitude change, so a smaller one will be even lower to the ground.
Bouncy seat: Ours also vibrated. DS loved it and after it dawned on me to take it into the bathroom I was finally able to shower without someone else watching him. It was nice once he was interested in the world more. Once he learned to sit on his own though it was unnecessary. I would not pay full price for one though, even if you plan for it to last for several children. I liked it and want another one (gave mine to a friend and I know I'm not getting it back) but it's not worth $35+. You can do without it if you can't find one used or on sale.
Moby: I discovered this when DS was 4 months old (pretty sure on that). He then lived in it for months in order to sleep. It was also nice because I could go shopping during his nap time and he'd fall asleep to me walking around, I had my hands free to eat lunch etc. I used it instead of a stroller until DS was 5 months old and I never had an infant car seat (went straight to convertible). The length of fabric can be intimidating at first but it can fit anybody. Even Doug was able to use it, though he was always concerned of putting it on. But it made for some nice bonding time for him and Teddy when traditional carriers would not fit him. I loaned it to the same friend as the bouncy seat so while at the time that $40 was the best money I ever spent, it's totally overpriced. I plan on making my own this time from 5-6 yards of stretchy fabric. There are tutorials online. Also, the book it comes with only has a few holds but there are others you can find online, I wish I had known about that earlier. I never breastfed in it and I wish I had learned. I plan to try that with #2. Another reason not to spend the $40, as they get older and bigger stretchy fabric is not the best, because you need such a tight hold. Many women then prefer woven fabrics or more structured carriers.
Ergo: I have the sport and I really like it. I got it when DS was 7 months old and used it a fair bit that first summer and still use it. There are times when he's really clingy after his nap and so I'll put him in it on my back and I can make us a snack or even do some light cooking. He's too heavy for me to really go on walks with him in it, but I can wear him in it for an all day event and he can run around when he wants to and ride in it (and even sleep in it sometimes) when he needs to.
Nursing cover: I had a cheap one from Target. It was itchy and shaped oddly, did not feel like it covered well. After a few months Teddy would not tolerate it anyway. For a while just a thin blanket worked but then nothing. I should have tried harder to nurse in public but I couldn't see what I was doing with either of those options and pretty much flashed people otherwise. I decided that was ok in the church nursery with other mothers that were nursing but at the EMU track, not so much. I would go to the car a lot. That's not going to be an option with #2.
Fisher Price space saver high chair: I really like it. Apparently it converts to a booster which I totally forgot about before I bought a booster seat though. But it takes up sooo much less space than a traditional high chair, though you do sacrifice a dining chair. The recline option isn't really needed though, but it does fit a younger baby better than a booster does. I wouldn't put a 6 month old in an actual booster. Teddy wasn't ready for a booster until a few months ago, so I think it has great life.
Stroller: I have a cheapo umbrella stroller. Well, actually as far as umbrella strollers go it was more expensive. It has a sun shade, a tray for child, a basket and a detachable storage/drink spot for parent. It's super light weight. Teddy is now getting too big for it. He can put his feet down on the wheels and stop it, drives me nuts! It doesn't manuever as well with a bigger child either. It's seen a lot of wear in the last 19 months and I definitely got $35 worth out of it!
I also have a used double stroller that I found on Craigslist. I can use it for Teddy and R, who I babysit. Even though it's old and doesn't have a lot of functions nicer and newer ones have (like snack trays) it has a big basket and manuevers well still. I took them to the indoor track the other day and made better time even though I was pushing two of them and had to stop a few times to entertain them, than I do with just Teddy in the umbrella.
If a stroller is something you're going to use a lot then think of it as a real investment. When I bought the umbrella stroller I didn't walk very much. We lived in a condo and I just didn't go outside very often. I would put him in the cart at a store or in the moby for a mall that didn't have one, which was seldom because I'm just that classy. I think almost everyone needs the lightweightness of an umbrella stroller eventually but a more heavy duty option is pretty much a must for most people's lifestyles as well.
Changing table: Ok, I know most people say it's pointless but we didn't have a low dresser. We had a free chest of drawers. Our beds and couches are all lower so I'd be bending some and Doug would be bending a lot to change diapers. Teddy is insane when we try to change him on the floor or a bed etc. And I like the storage it offers. I think I will be able to use it for years to come. And I've seen the exact same one I've got be used to hold dishes on Disney channel's Good Luck Charlie, so I can always use it for that later too, haha!
Gas drops: for the baby! Teddy was gassy and needed drops before and after eating for weeks...maybe a month or two, I can't remember. But the first night or two until we figured that out was especially rough. I don't know why they don't sell them in a bigger bottle though! But I guess liquid gold is tough to find....
What I want to try: I tried to do things as cheap as possible. There are a few things that I'd like to try this time because I think they will be worth my sanity.
Rock N Play: I have heard awesome stuff about this. It will fit in our room much better than the PNP or a co-sleeper will. I know this baby will sleep with us some, but I'd like to encourage some independent sleep too. My small goal is one nap a day and to start out the night in it. I was thisclose to buying one for Teddy but by that point was worried he'd reach the weight limit too fast to make it worth it. I should have anyway because it's gone up about $15 since then.
Ring sling: I had a cheap pouch sling that DS never fit in/worked with me. We were both too big. But a ring sling is adjustable and supposedly great for breastfeeding with free hands. I don't think I'd want to carry baby around in it for a long period of time just because the weight is not distributed as well as a moby or ergo (or other ergonomic carrier) but a lightweight newborn or for quick breast feeding at the park, sounds like a win.
Udder covers: I want to try this https://www.uddercovers.com/cart or something like it for this one. I might make my own. I like that it pops up and I can see, it is very long and is not as hot (around the shoulders/neck) as other covers. I've seen a girl use this at church and even an old ordered mennonite use it at the park- and you know she wouldn't be flashing anything. $35 seems like a lot (why is that the price for so many baby things anyway?!) but it might really be worth having that freedom and peace of mind. People might stare but at least it won't be because I have to flash them to latch my child.
Infant car seat: We went straight to a convertible with Teddy due to a long story. For the most part it was entirely fine. Turns out he didn't like sleeping in the car anyway and I could easily just wrap him up in the moby when going some place. Even though he was born in November, I just wrapped him up in a blanket and went from warm building to preheated car (oh how I miss autostart on my car!) so I didn't miss the bunting option. But I might want one for #2. I'm still on the fence about it. I wouldn't put the baby in it for everything. For example, I am fine carrying the baby from the car to the church. No one there even keeps baby in it during service. It would be better for us to have smaller bouncy seats than big clunky car seats. I don't think it's any easier to carry out baby in a car seat and a diaper bag than it is to just carry baby. That's no judgement on the girls who do that, just that I did it just fine without it so I wouldn't use it this time for that reason. But in case it falls asleep on the way to an errand it would be nice to at least have a better chance of not waking it up by getting it out of the car seat.
Travel system: I'm debating between a double stroller or a single travel system. But either way, a more heavy duty stroller for sure and one that an infant car seat attaches to if I go that route.
A better diaper bag: The boy I babysit's mother has a Skip Hop: http://www.skiphop.com/category/diaperbagsaccessories.html and I am finding it perfect, especially for a breastfeeder that wouldn't need to bring a bunch of bottles. Not that my diaper bag was good for that either. I will happily pay $35-90 for something that will be truly functional and last another child or two! I still use one for Teddy for church. For errands I usually bring it in the car but just stuff a diaper, wipes and baggie in my purse. I have friends with 3 year olds that still use them so yeah, $90 for 6 years of use (3 for this kid, 3 for another) is a steal.
Real nursing bras and more attire: I used some sleep nursing bras far too much. I saw a pic of me and Teddy that a friend took and the girls were waaaay too lose, and they were bigger then too. I bought one underwire nursing bra and it was the only one I used, by that point I used a lot of regular bras too. He was probably 8 months old. Yeah, the girls were saggy and loose in public for 8 months and I never even thought about it. That's going to change.
Oh, and for the hospital I plan on packing some clothes. I didn't care about it at the time but looking back, it was kind of embarrassing to be in the hospital gown still and I wasn't wearing a bra (didn't remotely cross my mind) but it was probably noticable to visitors. I wouldn't buy fancy gowns but I will bring actual clothes. And I will take that first shower much earlier. I was worried that it would sting the incision but it was fine.
I think that's everything....
Waiting game
It's killing me waiting until next week for the follow up dating ultrasound. Most of the time I think my date is right and this baby will catch up just like Teddy did. Other times I figure the doctor is right and I ovulated way later than I thought and somehow didn't notice. Then there are the other times.... It takes a lot of self control to not buy a pregnancy test just to make sure it's still there. I'm still not having lots of symptoms. I felt pretty nauceas on Monday but it wouldn't have sent me running to buy a test. Most of the time I am not experiencing any real pregnancy symptoms, just normal stuff. I remember complaining about that with Teddy too though. And I am certainly grateful if I'm just having a really easy first trimester (especially since last time the third trimester got so rough). But this is all so unexpected and I have a tendency to be pessimistic and wait for the other shoe to drop. I'm probably going to be a wreck until I feel consistent movement, which I don't expect until probably 18-20 weeks this time (was 21 with Teddy). I keep claiming this baby was a promise from God so everything is ok.
The planning and worrying about logistics has definitely set in. I didn't put Teddy in the play pen very much. He hated the bassinet attachment and preferred the swing and later the bouncy seat or my arms. It took a very long time for me to get to the point where I felt like he could wait because I was showering or cooking and couldn't step away that second or was trying to mop. I did definitely confuse the concept of not letting them cry to sleep or self soothe at a young age with not letting them cry at all. Chances are if I would have left him alone for 2 seconds he would have chilled on his own and gotten distracted with one of the thousand toys he has. But if I'm not trying to get anything done then my general philosophy is to not put the baby in a container (crib, play pen, swing etc). I was talking with a friend and she said that #2 will probably have to sit and wait a lot. I feel like my parenting bubble has been burst. I'm hoping instead it will be happy to hang out in the moby or a sling a lot and that maybe with the age difference Teddy will be ok with independent play. He does pretty decent at it now but who knows what it will be like when there's someone else that needs me a lot and depends on me for existence. I'm debating on getting a double stroller for them. Still trying to sort out moving. I change my mind daily as to when my personal deadline for it is. Right now I'm leaning towards before the birth because I need to know that I can control the noise level in the house and that someone else will not just be tromping through mid-day. I almost lost my mind last time troubleshooting newborn sleep with that crap.
So, I had a stupid freak out yesterday. I was playing outside with Teddy and the little boy I watch and came back in to get them cleaned up and start on lunch. I had sat on our cement stoop while the boys played, but my legs were crossed and not touching anything but each other (not the cement or the grass). My leg was itching and I scratched it once or twice with a sock covered foot. But then I didn't really have time to worry about it because they were underfoot and I was trying to make lunch. When we sat down I looked at it and it was bright red with a bunch of white spots. I had never seen a rash like that. It didn't have streaks or anything though. It was itching really bad at this point, but I had not scratched it in like 15-20 minutes. I continued to resist the urge to scratch, tried googling some things and calling my mom. I sent her a text with the pic of it and she thought I should at least call the OB and see what they thought. It had spread some during all this time. After we finish lunch I call the OB and talk with the nurse and she thought I should be seen that afternoon even though I asked if it could wait until the next day. So I arrange for mom to sit at the house during T's nap time and I'll take R with me to the appointment. Other than that I felt fine. Well, I've had a sort of fever for awhile. I keep checking it because it's running higher than I think it should. The same levels it was when I found out I was pregnant and the doctor said I was still sick with the kidney infection. I don't feel sick otherwise and my urine looks good. I'm going to talk to the OB about it on Wednesday because it really confuses me. I can obviously get really sick with a UTI without any earlier symptoms and when I do have a fever I don't even notice it. Anyway, so that added to my worry with the rash, I was concerned perhaps they were connected, maybe it was cellulitis (though didn't look like it too much from pics online). Go figure about 30 minutes after I make all the arrangements the rash totally disappears and I feel fine. I cancelled the appointment but I feel so stupid for getting that worried. Though part of it was because I was watching someone else's child and had back to back nap times coming up and wasn't sure about being able to get in that day and didn't know if a mysterious rash was serious or not.
So, here I wait. I feel like I can't buy anything yet because we don't know where we're going to live, what gender it is yet, and just the fact that I know from experience that I don't need to start yet. But it certainly makes it less exciting. I am determined to not complain so much as I did with Teddy. I try to think back about being pregnant with him and all I can remember is the scary stuff. And that's mostly all I blogged about. Unfortunately there's nothing neat to report right now. Except that I am super excited to see Teddy as a big brother! He is doing really great with R. Right now I am really glad that I have so long to prepare for baby because I am so not ready for it to come out. Eventually yes, but right now I am very glad it takes a long time to bake.
The planning and worrying about logistics has definitely set in. I didn't put Teddy in the play pen very much. He hated the bassinet attachment and preferred the swing and later the bouncy seat or my arms. It took a very long time for me to get to the point where I felt like he could wait because I was showering or cooking and couldn't step away that second or was trying to mop. I did definitely confuse the concept of not letting them cry to sleep or self soothe at a young age with not letting them cry at all. Chances are if I would have left him alone for 2 seconds he would have chilled on his own and gotten distracted with one of the thousand toys he has. But if I'm not trying to get anything done then my general philosophy is to not put the baby in a container (crib, play pen, swing etc). I was talking with a friend and she said that #2 will probably have to sit and wait a lot. I feel like my parenting bubble has been burst. I'm hoping instead it will be happy to hang out in the moby or a sling a lot and that maybe with the age difference Teddy will be ok with independent play. He does pretty decent at it now but who knows what it will be like when there's someone else that needs me a lot and depends on me for existence. I'm debating on getting a double stroller for them. Still trying to sort out moving. I change my mind daily as to when my personal deadline for it is. Right now I'm leaning towards before the birth because I need to know that I can control the noise level in the house and that someone else will not just be tromping through mid-day. I almost lost my mind last time troubleshooting newborn sleep with that crap.
So, I had a stupid freak out yesterday. I was playing outside with Teddy and the little boy I watch and came back in to get them cleaned up and start on lunch. I had sat on our cement stoop while the boys played, but my legs were crossed and not touching anything but each other (not the cement or the grass). My leg was itching and I scratched it once or twice with a sock covered foot. But then I didn't really have time to worry about it because they were underfoot and I was trying to make lunch. When we sat down I looked at it and it was bright red with a bunch of white spots. I had never seen a rash like that. It didn't have streaks or anything though. It was itching really bad at this point, but I had not scratched it in like 15-20 minutes. I continued to resist the urge to scratch, tried googling some things and calling my mom. I sent her a text with the pic of it and she thought I should at least call the OB and see what they thought. It had spread some during all this time. After we finish lunch I call the OB and talk with the nurse and she thought I should be seen that afternoon even though I asked if it could wait until the next day. So I arrange for mom to sit at the house during T's nap time and I'll take R with me to the appointment. Other than that I felt fine. Well, I've had a sort of fever for awhile. I keep checking it because it's running higher than I think it should. The same levels it was when I found out I was pregnant and the doctor said I was still sick with the kidney infection. I don't feel sick otherwise and my urine looks good. I'm going to talk to the OB about it on Wednesday because it really confuses me. I can obviously get really sick with a UTI without any earlier symptoms and when I do have a fever I don't even notice it. Anyway, so that added to my worry with the rash, I was concerned perhaps they were connected, maybe it was cellulitis (though didn't look like it too much from pics online). Go figure about 30 minutes after I make all the arrangements the rash totally disappears and I feel fine. I cancelled the appointment but I feel so stupid for getting that worried. Though part of it was because I was watching someone else's child and had back to back nap times coming up and wasn't sure about being able to get in that day and didn't know if a mysterious rash was serious or not.
So, here I wait. I feel like I can't buy anything yet because we don't know where we're going to live, what gender it is yet, and just the fact that I know from experience that I don't need to start yet. But it certainly makes it less exciting. I am determined to not complain so much as I did with Teddy. I try to think back about being pregnant with him and all I can remember is the scary stuff. And that's mostly all I blogged about. Unfortunately there's nothing neat to report right now. Except that I am super excited to see Teddy as a big brother! He is doing really great with R. Right now I am really glad that I have so long to prepare for baby because I am so not ready for it to come out. Eventually yes, but right now I am very glad it takes a long time to bake.
Thursday, October 11, 2012
My life is a mess
but I love it!!
More specifically, Teddy is a mess!! He's just wild. He can be really sweet too, but when he wants to move, he's got to move. When he wants to be a stinker, he is a stinker. He's just so determined about everything, and so curious.
And we have definitely entered the terrible 2s. Tantrum city over everything here. And it's frustrating for both of us because half the time I have no clue what he's so upset about. To me it will seem like the smallest thing. Or I literally don't even know why he's so upset. And unlike before, ignoring it or distracting him with something else doesn't always work. It happens more before lunch and nap time so I'm thinking maybe I need to push his nap back some. But I know most tantrums at this age are due to communication. And it's so interesting because he can talk a lot, when he wants to, but when he's upset he just screams and cries. He doesn't try to talk. I know that's is 100% normal but I also know the best way to get past it is to encourage him to talk to me about what he's upset about, why and to validate his feelings and then explain why he can't do/have that and give him an option that he can have. It can be nerve wracking to come up with that though when I'm trying to get something done or get out the door and there are definitely times when he doesn't want me near him/in his face when he's mad. We do have a book about different moods and feelings and he really likes it so I think he's starting to understand that. I'm just trying to give him the right language skills to express it. It's got to be so confusing and hard for him!
Mostly though, he's a great kid, just is always on the go!
Oh, and I'm back to never getting pictures anymore because he's obsessed with the camera. But he's just as cute as ever.
More specifically, Teddy is a mess!! He's just wild. He can be really sweet too, but when he wants to move, he's got to move. When he wants to be a stinker, he is a stinker. He's just so determined about everything, and so curious.
And we have definitely entered the terrible 2s. Tantrum city over everything here. And it's frustrating for both of us because half the time I have no clue what he's so upset about. To me it will seem like the smallest thing. Or I literally don't even know why he's so upset. And unlike before, ignoring it or distracting him with something else doesn't always work. It happens more before lunch and nap time so I'm thinking maybe I need to push his nap back some. But I know most tantrums at this age are due to communication. And it's so interesting because he can talk a lot, when he wants to, but when he's upset he just screams and cries. He doesn't try to talk. I know that's is 100% normal but I also know the best way to get past it is to encourage him to talk to me about what he's upset about, why and to validate his feelings and then explain why he can't do/have that and give him an option that he can have. It can be nerve wracking to come up with that though when I'm trying to get something done or get out the door and there are definitely times when he doesn't want me near him/in his face when he's mad. We do have a book about different moods and feelings and he really likes it so I think he's starting to understand that. I'm just trying to give him the right language skills to express it. It's got to be so confusing and hard for him!
Mostly though, he's a great kid, just is always on the go!
Oh, and I'm back to never getting pictures anymore because he's obsessed with the camera. But he's just as cute as ever.
First OB visit
I had my first OB visit on Tuesday, Oct. 8th. Since I was so early they did an internal ultrasound. I was only measuring 5w5d when by my ovulation date it should be 7w5d. We could see a yolk sack and a flicker of a heart beat though so they weren't worried at all. I'm supposed to go back in 2 weeks for a dating ultrasound so they're not for sure calling it from that one. It was interesting that they said it was too early to date it because I had always understood the earlier the ultrasound the better at the date, but in this case there wasn't even a fetal pole to measure.
I would totally agree that I probably just ovulated even later than I thought except that I know 99.9% that I ovulated on August 30th and only August 30th. I was checking my cervical mucus all the other days. Also, the conception would have occurred around when I was sick puking with my kidney infection. Due to Doug's work schedule it had been several days since that was possible and then after I was sick it was even longer because I was recovering and then had an awful yeast infection from the antibiotics that did not clear up using an over the counter thing and took even longer to hear back from my doctor about a prescription. Additionally, it means I found out 7 days past suspected ovulation and 7 days before what would have been the arrival of a missed period, on a dollar store test that was not designed to test early on. This happened with Teddy too. At the first ultrasound he measured 10 days behind what I expected and then at the second one a few weeks later he caught back up. So I'm waiting until the next ultrasound to really rule it out. At any rate, my estimated due date is May 24th and by their count it's June 7th.
We discussed the possibility of VBAC and as I suspected they're not big fans of it. Partly because of how the hospital schedules anesthesialogists. He said that when VBACs go bad they go bad fast and they need anesthesia there right then but they have so few on the schedule that it is impossible to guarantee that and then they'd have to delay any life saving surgery because of that. He said the number of women with failed VBACs with complications is 1 out of 100, which is pretty darn high. He said I'd have to be monitored during labor the whole time and would not be able to go late, like be induced or need anything to help contractions etc. I'm going to do some of my own research too but I knew going with an OB that would be more likely. And I knew it last time agreeing to one, which I did think was medically necessary. And who knows, it might be this time as well. I'm 99% ok with this but am a little disappointed that because my body is so uncooperative, but as long as my baby gets here healthy and I am safe. It probably also means only 3 kids instead of 4, though age and finances were probably going to restrict that anyway.
Oh, and I did try contacting my old midwife again. I didn't hear back from her (I suspect e-mail is a bad way to contact her these days since she is much, much busier now) but I am pretty sure the answer would be no since I have a history of high risk pregnancy. But I still like the idea of natural birth and using a midwife, I am just not a good candidate for that.
So, we'll see what happens on the 24th!
I would totally agree that I probably just ovulated even later than I thought except that I know 99.9% that I ovulated on August 30th and only August 30th. I was checking my cervical mucus all the other days. Also, the conception would have occurred around when I was sick puking with my kidney infection. Due to Doug's work schedule it had been several days since that was possible and then after I was sick it was even longer because I was recovering and then had an awful yeast infection from the antibiotics that did not clear up using an over the counter thing and took even longer to hear back from my doctor about a prescription. Additionally, it means I found out 7 days past suspected ovulation and 7 days before what would have been the arrival of a missed period, on a dollar store test that was not designed to test early on. This happened with Teddy too. At the first ultrasound he measured 10 days behind what I expected and then at the second one a few weeks later he caught back up. So I'm waiting until the next ultrasound to really rule it out. At any rate, my estimated due date is May 24th and by their count it's June 7th.
We discussed the possibility of VBAC and as I suspected they're not big fans of it. Partly because of how the hospital schedules anesthesialogists. He said that when VBACs go bad they go bad fast and they need anesthesia there right then but they have so few on the schedule that it is impossible to guarantee that and then they'd have to delay any life saving surgery because of that. He said the number of women with failed VBACs with complications is 1 out of 100, which is pretty darn high. He said I'd have to be monitored during labor the whole time and would not be able to go late, like be induced or need anything to help contractions etc. I'm going to do some of my own research too but I knew going with an OB that would be more likely. And I knew it last time agreeing to one, which I did think was medically necessary. And who knows, it might be this time as well. I'm 99% ok with this but am a little disappointed that because my body is so uncooperative, but as long as my baby gets here healthy and I am safe. It probably also means only 3 kids instead of 4, though age and finances were probably going to restrict that anyway.
Oh, and I did try contacting my old midwife again. I didn't hear back from her (I suspect e-mail is a bad way to contact her these days since she is much, much busier now) but I am pretty sure the answer would be no since I have a history of high risk pregnancy. But I still like the idea of natural birth and using a midwife, I am just not a good candidate for that.
So, we'll see what happens on the 24th!
Tuesday, October 2, 2012
One blessing at a time
Ok, actually I do have a symptom. I'm pretty emotional and hormonal. But I would have explained that away to be sure.
Today I was pretty bummed out, most of the day. When Doug and I decided to try to conceive again we thought it would be months and months and months before success. Also, I'm not quite sure how but we did the math wrong or were just very naive about the cost of things before we made our decision. Our car payment is a bit higher than we were hoping as well, but it gets better gas mileage than if we just used the Blazer for Doug's long commute, so that helps some too. We were expecting a due date after Teddy turned 3. By that point we hoped to have enough saved up for a down payment on something (we'd love land and a modular) or would be able to rent something for sure. But this blessing is much earlier than expected. The reality is that unless we get an awesome deal somewhere we will be living with my father in law for at least another year, perhaps longer because there will be additional costs now. At this point in time me finding another job outside of the home is not a good option because of the cost of daycare and just the cost on my sanity.
Not that living with my father in law doesn't cost me sanity either. Although he is messy and loud and comes home at unpredictable times he does grant us a high amount of privacy. And he has a nice yard and the sections of the house we use are still bigger than probably anything we could afford to rent. The location is nice. You go outside and although you are close to two highways and a subdivision there are all kinds of birds chirping and rabbits hopping. It feels like you're in the country. But I miss having my own place. My own place to decorate, to sprawl out in, to have people over at and not worry about a half naked elderly man walking buy. I miss going to bed at night and waking up to the same condition the house was in when I last saw it. My father in law does not sleep well and spends all night snacking and walking from his bedroom to the kitchen. He makes a bigger mess getting crackers than I do making a whole meal. The house gets sugar ants bad and somehow he doesn't understand that duh, they're attracted to sugar. So rinse out your glass of 7 up that you aren't even supposed to be drinking because of your bad kidney function and quit eating cookies for breakfast.
So I spent half the day thinking we were stupid for trying to conceive given the fact that we are now going to have two children and are in my father in law's house still. I worry that others will judge us, and I was judging myself. But then I realized that God is the only one that gives life. We could have decided on our own to try and not had any success for months or years if it wasn't God's timing (as was our experience with Teddy). And since this is when the baby is meant to be born then it would have happened even if we weren't trying.
So, I'm going to spend my time being truly thankful for this blessing. Sure, I would rather have my own place and keep doing the math and it's just not very feasible but if it doesn't happen it won't be the end of the world. But I believe somehow something will. And it will just show that nothing is impossible with God. There might be a mighty financial need, but He's answered that call before and I know He's able.
Today I was pretty bummed out, most of the day. When Doug and I decided to try to conceive again we thought it would be months and months and months before success. Also, I'm not quite sure how but we did the math wrong or were just very naive about the cost of things before we made our decision. Our car payment is a bit higher than we were hoping as well, but it gets better gas mileage than if we just used the Blazer for Doug's long commute, so that helps some too. We were expecting a due date after Teddy turned 3. By that point we hoped to have enough saved up for a down payment on something (we'd love land and a modular) or would be able to rent something for sure. But this blessing is much earlier than expected. The reality is that unless we get an awesome deal somewhere we will be living with my father in law for at least another year, perhaps longer because there will be additional costs now. At this point in time me finding another job outside of the home is not a good option because of the cost of daycare and just the cost on my sanity.
Not that living with my father in law doesn't cost me sanity either. Although he is messy and loud and comes home at unpredictable times he does grant us a high amount of privacy. And he has a nice yard and the sections of the house we use are still bigger than probably anything we could afford to rent. The location is nice. You go outside and although you are close to two highways and a subdivision there are all kinds of birds chirping and rabbits hopping. It feels like you're in the country. But I miss having my own place. My own place to decorate, to sprawl out in, to have people over at and not worry about a half naked elderly man walking buy. I miss going to bed at night and waking up to the same condition the house was in when I last saw it. My father in law does not sleep well and spends all night snacking and walking from his bedroom to the kitchen. He makes a bigger mess getting crackers than I do making a whole meal. The house gets sugar ants bad and somehow he doesn't understand that duh, they're attracted to sugar. So rinse out your glass of 7 up that you aren't even supposed to be drinking because of your bad kidney function and quit eating cookies for breakfast.
So I spent half the day thinking we were stupid for trying to conceive given the fact that we are now going to have two children and are in my father in law's house still. I worry that others will judge us, and I was judging myself. But then I realized that God is the only one that gives life. We could have decided on our own to try and not had any success for months or years if it wasn't God's timing (as was our experience with Teddy). And since this is when the baby is meant to be born then it would have happened even if we weren't trying.
So, I'm going to spend my time being truly thankful for this blessing. Sure, I would rather have my own place and keep doing the math and it's just not very feasible but if it doesn't happen it won't be the end of the world. But I believe somehow something will. And it will just show that nothing is impossible with God. There might be a mighty financial need, but He's answered that call before and I know He's able.
Symptoms
So, most of the time I don't feel pregnant or any symptoms at all really. I know that's normal and still to come. But it's so weird finding out a few weeks later this time versus last time. When I tested originally in early September, which I guess was too early, I did swear I had some breast tenderness. But really, aside from that and the overwhelming urge I've had to buy baby things, even before the positive test, I don't have anything. I honestly wouldn't have tested at all if I hadn't been checking my temps in the morning and new higher temps could be a sign of pregnancy and the doctor had said my urine analysis looked good. I'm going to be interested in when the symptoms arrive. At this point I'm half convinced I could probably explain everything away until I felt consistent movement. I could have wound up on the "I didn't know I was pregnant show" hahaha!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)