Breastfeeding

So I realized that I never really wrote/write about breastfeeding and it's struggles (and joy!).  I don't know who exactly I'm doing this for since to my knowledge only 2-3 people read this blog, but whatever.

First, let me say that choosing how to feed your child is a personal choice and not one someone should feel guilty about.  The mommy wars drive me nuts!  But what annoys me is the amount of women I've known in my life who think breastfeeding is as easy as just pulling up your shirt.  Sure, eventually it's pretty easy but there is a huuuuuuuuuuge learning curve at the beginning.  And it's no one's fault if you find it too difficult after getting all the help and support you can access.  We aren't raised in a culture where there is breastfeeding everywhere.  We're told to keep it under a cover and in a day when women are having fewer children the daughters of said women usuallly have no memory of their mother nursing a younger siblings.  And in my generation formula was king.  So almost everyone I know doesnt' really know what to expect with breastfeeding.  After letting your insurance know you're pregnant the formula samples and coupons (and disposables- but that's another post) come raining in.  But I wasn't given any info on breastfeeding.

I think the biggest thing is to educate yourself beforehand.  I think this is key with every aspect of parenting.  Think of it as part of your prenatal care/routine.  You take your vitamins, eat healthy, try to do some exercise and go to your appointments.  Women are worried about the delivery room and take classes on labor and delivery.  Well, knowing how to care for your baby after it arrives is just as important, if not more, than knowing the fruit you can compare baby's size to while it's in utero.  And it's important to try to do this before baby arrives because once baby is here- you just dont' have the time!  It's true not everything is in the books, and it's true that mommy instincts are better but if you've rarely or never seen a breastfeeding mother- maybe take some time to learn about it.  Just as many practice chaning diapers before baby is here (especiallly if it's been awhile since they've done so) you need practice with breastfeeding at least the information if not the process.  Attend a class offered at your hospital, browse some websites, practice positioning on a stuffed bear or pick a mom friend's brain!

So here's my story:  When Teddy was less than an hour old he was rushed to me to nurse.  I was still in recovery from my c-section.  Since I had gestational diabetes his blood sugar levels were tested multiple times.  At one point it dropped so he needed to nurse.  But he wasn't hungry.  He was tired.  Newborn babies are often very sleepy and I've read don't actually need to eat right away.  And don't be worried about weight loss- they all lose weight and it's normal.  Only be worried if the pediatrician says they've lost too much.  I promise you, once baby is legitimately hungry you will know.

Anyway, the lactation consultant came in right away to help me.  God bless her!!  Since he wasn't hungry and therefore wasn't really sucking we couldn't get my nipple to respond.  So we used a nipple shield but even then he wasn't latching.  So in the end what we did was squirt some sugar water- not formula- from a syringe through the nipple shield and it kind of squirted into his mouth.

After that we had better luck.  I don't know if for sure he was hungry but babies have a powerful need to suck.  So there were times when he wanted to suck and fortunately we didn't have any continued latching problems.  But he did continue to want to sleep a lot.  Even after we left the hospital.  I read to wake him every 2 hours to establish a good routine (after the first initial days of sleeping constantly baby will nurse this often).  Now I look back and realize I should have just let him sleep!!  But the practice was good for us.  Positioning him was difficult due to my 'big bitties' and c-section.  We found the football hold with several stacked pillows/and or boppy helped the most.  I would have to completely undress him, rub him, try to stimulate him etc. to keep him awake long enough to nurse.  I was still taking prescription pain meds for the first week or two and I think that contributed to him being so sleepy.  And since he wasn't nursing for very long he was wanting to nurse a lot.  Like every hour, or more often sometimes.  Suck a little, nap a little sort of thing.  All that is very normal behavior for a newborn!  But there's nothing wrong with wanting to try to help him a long into actually staying awake long enough to do a full feeding.

Oh, and feedings take forever at first.  Seriously, like 45 minutes.  Partially because I'd have to wake him a lot, but also just because they're new at sucking.  Bottle feedings also take a long time at this point.  But soon they learn and before you know it the whole show will be over in 10 minutes or less.

You shouldn't try to put a breastfed baby on a schedule.  Eventually a rough routine will emerge and you should just cater to it.  Breast milk is ever evolving to fit your child's nutritional needs.  It's not like formula where it's always X amount of calories, and therefore if you think your baby wants to nurse some more- give it to them! 

And there are growth spurts that affect both formula and breast fed babies too.  They will suddenly want more or more often.  All normal!  At the 6 week one he wanted to be attached literally 24 hours.  He wasn't sucking for all of it, but he was for most of it.  In addition to that just being difficult to handle he also ended up with foremilk/hindmilk imbalance.  While he was sucking so much he'd get upset after a few minutes on one side (I assumed because he had drained it previously but just wanted to keep sucking) so I switch sides a lot.  And the result was that my supply got all out of whack.  I wasn't going long enough between switching sides and he got too much foremilk.  Foremilk is the sugary "thirst quencher" but it's low in actual fat so baby isn't sustained for very long.  And if they get too much then all the sugar doesn't sit well in their bellies and makes them gassy and spit up a lot.

It took me weeks to realize this.  I actually was doing research on reflux because of all the spit up and screaming and read somewhere that it could be milk imbalance.  So I tried "block feeding" which is nursing on one side only for several feedings before switching sides.  I apparently had oversupply issues, which wasn't apparent before and it was pretty painful as my body learned that it didn't need to produce so much.  Once he was getting enough of the hindmilk he didn't need to nurse so often.

When he was 4-5 months old he developed the need to nurse to sleep.  I can't remember exactly right now but I think it started after he was sick with a cold.  Before that I tried to follow this idea:  EASY.  Eat, Activity, Sleep, so there's time for You.  The idea is that you don't get them used to needing to nurse to sleep.  It was a hard habit to break and combined with other sleep problems.  I tried a number of methods but ended up needing to resort to modified cry it out- usually called Ferber, after the author of the book "Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems."  Again, these sleep problems are for another post.

I also didn't have to worry about pumping until he was 9 months and I started working.  And then it was really stressful keeping up and making sure he had enough with the bottles I left.  I only got to pump once a day at work.  If I could do it again, I'd ask for another session or two, I'm sure they would give it to me and that would make it less stressful.  In the end I ended up starting the transition to whole cow's milk a few weeks earlier than I had planned.  The medical field says wait until 1 year because babies can't process the lactose in cow's milk and it can be very bad for their digestive system.  So I started giving one ounce of WCM (whole cow's milk) in each bottle when he was 11.5 months. 

So here we are at 14 months and I still nurse twice a day:  first thing in the morning and before bed.  He rarely wakes up in the middle of the night now, and when he does he doesn't usually want to nurse anymore.  He hasn't needed it in a long time, but I usually did it because it was faster than other methods of getting him back to sleep and once I started working I not only needed my sleep but I think he also just missed me.

Around 9 months he figured his way around the boob pretty good and could lift it etc. on his own.  That's when the "just lift my shirt up" thing happened and I could also start nursing in a position other than the football hold.  I could lie down and nurse, I could try the cradle hold etc.  Good thing too because he was getting pretty tall and didn't fit on say the couch under my arm anymore!!  At around 11 months the acrobatics started.  He will sometimes try to nurse in odd positions and I think he'd be very happy if he could walk around with it in his mouth still.  Not because he wants it all the time, but because he never wants to stop playing. 

My goal for weaning is between 18 and 24 months, but many are happy just to make it to 12.  If it's working for us then I don't want to rush it.  Before hand it was 15-18 months but I just don't think he's going to be ready for it.  He still really loves our nursing times.  He dropped all other feedings on his own.  He would just get to the point where he wouldn't "ask" for it and when I'd offer it he wouldn't nurse much so I tried dropping one and he did great.  A few mornings about a month ago I tried dropping the morning feeding and that did not go well.  So no rushing it, he will let me know when he's ready.

In the hospital I didn't let him have a pacifier because I read about nipple confusion.  First night home with him all he wanted to do was suck on something so I let him have one.  It didn't last long, he tended to suck too hard and it would go flying out of his mouth.  At 3 months he started teething and stopped using the pacifier entirely then.  He sucked his thumb some until the first tooth started to come in at 6 months.  Yes, it took that long!!  Once the tooth was in he stopped thumb sucking and hasn't looked back.  He took a few bottles before I went back to work pretty easily and after I started working did just fine with no confusion.  But generally it's recommended to wait 2-6 weeks before giving pacifiers and bottles.

My journey has been pretty darn easy, but there's no guarantee the next one will be.  So again, educate yourselves ladies!  It will be difficult to learn at first but so worth it.  I love our nursing sessions still, I love knowing I'm the only one who can nourish and comfort him like that.  Just don't go into it thinking that all you have to do is pull up your shirt and put baby against it.  That's not how it works!  The ones I know who have thought like that ended up giving up within a day or two, because there's just so much else that you're new to and learning- it's overwhelming.  Here's my favorite websites:

http://www.kellymom.com/
http://www.llli.com/
http://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/4615093/ShowForum.aspx

Oh, and please no one think I'm trying to pretend to be super mom.  I'm not, I know I'm not!  For example, I never knew babies could have such awful sleep problems.  I thought that was an older baby problem and so I didn't read anything about it and was so unprepared.  I tried asking Teddy's pediatrician but aside from the fact that she gave birth 30 years ago she didn't have much advice.  When it comes down to it, her expertise is in medical problems of infants, not trouble shooting typical sleep problems and figuring out what works best for mom and baby. 

Too cute for words

I just want to share some of the awesome pics I've been able to get of Teddy lately!  After months of moving at the speed of light and every picture being a blur he's finally happy to pose for the camera again!

A New Year

A new year of life with a crazy little red head!!  Sometimes we call him the red headed terrorist, a guy at church the other day called him a Ragin' Cajun.  Haha.  He's just like mama!  Every emotion he feels is intense!  Today he threw a fit while I tried to pay a bill online because I wouldn't let him play on the computer.  He almost made himself throw up!  And of course the minute I'm done he stops and is happy to go play on his own.

Tantrums have begun but at least they still make sense.  Like, he gets mad when he doesn't get his way.  I'm really not looking forward to the age when he throws tantrums out of no where.  He's getting into so much stuff!  Exploring everything, picking up on all sorts of new things to do, some new words, new signs.  He loves opening and closing doors still but is all about going up and down the stairs.  He practically runs now.   He learned to say cheese last week. 

We were all sick over Christmas, Doug still has a tonsil infection.  Teddy is working on his top molars.  I'm working extra hours this week at work and am just so exhausted.  I'm hoping to catch up on things in the next week or so.

Quick survey:
Monthly Survey

1. How old is baby? He's 14 months, and 6 days.  And very much a toddler now!
2. Stats:
a. Weight:  I haven't weighed him in awhile.  I'd guess 25 or 26 pounds.  He feels very solid but he's walking a lot so he might not have gained much.
b. Height: no clue- he can fit in most 24 month things though
c. Clothes size: It looks like he will be outgrowing 18 months before the winter is over.  I really need to start planning on his spring and summer clothes.
d. Diaper size: In size large for cloth, 4 for disposables.

e. Hair color: it's turning more strawberry blonde.

f. Eye color: they change colors a lot.  Most days look like they're leaning towards brown.

g. Anything else?

3. Milestones:

a. Teething: 12.  He's working on his top molars and then it will just be canines and 2 year old molars left.  The end is in sight.
 
b. Talking:  He's not babbling as much these days.  Once he starts he really goes but there's lots of times when he doesn't.  He has "more" and "all done" down pat with sign language and I'm working on eat, sleep, water, cup, please and thank you too.  Still no clear mama or dada to us.  My mom insists that he says it to our pictures but he doesn't regularly do it to us.  He will say bye-bye and waves.  Oh, and he will say cheese, yay, and boom- when he intentionally falls down.
c. Rolling: almost off the changing table everysingletime.
 
d. Walking: Walking and running pro now!

e. Crawling:  He doesn't do it very often anymore.

f. Anything else?  He's started to dance to music!
 
4. Things he likes:  To get his way!  Haha! 

a. Toys: Still likes non-toys.  He likes that toy with the pop up things that teach the different motor skills and his toy computer. 

b. Books: He still likes the Mickey Mouse book but now that he's walking so much he won't sit still long enough for me to read to him too often.  I try to cram it in before he sleeps but nothing clear has emerged.

d. TV Shows: He likes the theme song to The Office and he will watch Spongebob for a few minutes.  Most of the time he doesn't even notice it when we've got it on.  He likes the controllers though.  I've tried the WVPT shows, I've tried Veggie Tales and no interest.

e. Other activities: He likes to wrestle, fall down and say "boom!", play with the light switch especially the pull cord lamp above his crib.  Oh, and he will give hugs and kisses when asked sometimes now!

5. Things he dislikes: puree foods and not getting his way!

6. Sleeping:   Down to one nap a day for 2-2.5 hours and mostly sleeping through the night.
 
7. Eating: He's gotten soooo picky!!  Tonight he loved black beans!

8. Nicknames: Teddy, Teddy Bear, Chunky, Chunky Monkey, Chunk a Monk, Chunkers, Smiley, Wiggle worm, Silly, Son, The Boy, Honey, Sweetie, Sweetie Pie, Angel, Lovey, Stinky Butt, Fussy Pants, Fussbucket,

9. Things we’re looking forward to next month: hopefully going on a little trip to visit family in VA Beach and maybe NOVA.
10. How I like motherhood:

a. Likes: I love seeing him learn and how engaged he can be in everything.
 
b. Dislikes:  Lack of sleep!  We're still not sleeping through the night all the time!  I don't think I'll know what to do with myself when that happens.  At least now he keeps me so busy I don't even notice how tired I am, lol!